Confusions of a dangerous Mind

It's been a while since my last post, and I have no idea where to begin.
 
Last time I mentioned that I met a new guy, one that helped me get my mind off the other one I was obsessing about. Well, things have progressed somewhat. We had our first "intimate" moment together, and that was out of this world. He’s sweet, and even slightly romantic. He’s super fun to be around, and for some strange reason, my mind keeps thinking into the future. What kind of boyfriend would he make? will he still like me after a few months? Years? And I don’t trust him. I want to, I really do, but I cant. The problem lies in the fact that he has this ongoing issue with an "ex" of his. from what he tells me, they are just friends, which I can deal with. But, they are the kinds of friends that make it so that he wont see us at the same time. And if ever we do all hang out together, he's cautioned me to "behave" as it were. Apparently, even though they are just friends, his ex can be very jealous.  Then, to top it off, last week for my birthday, I invited him out, and there was a chance that his ex would come and hang out with us, and again, he warns me, not to be all cuddly and stuff, and that his ex might be a little cuddly, and not to worry about it, its just the dynamic of their relationship. BS. If you only knew how pissed I was to hear that. I mean, fine. I can accept that he doesn’t want me to make out with him in front of his ex, hell, I even knew when I started getting to know him, and sleeping with him that they were still together and they only broke up about two weeks after I met him. But c'mon, something doesn’t add up if he expects me to believe that they broke up but still act like boyfriends in public. I suppose it doesn’t really matter. We are officially unofficial. Friend with benefits, but nothing more, despite how good it feels to be in his arms. God, why did I have to fall for someone I cant trust. In the end, I know that if things work out sometime in the future, he could earn my trust, but for right now, I feel like I am being lied to, and I hate it. Frankly, I would be totally cool if he told me that they were still dating, and I was the "other man" but alas, no. Maybe I am imagining things. I tend to see insult and slight where there is none, but...even my best friend doesn’t trust him. He likes him well enough I suppose, but trust, nope. I guess the only thing to do is play it by ear. I can say this. I like him enough to give it a go, and see where things lead. One fence at a time.
 
I guess this looks pretty screwed up doesn’t it, but that’s not even the half of it. Remember the boy I was obsessing about? Well, he’s coming back to Montreal to hang out with me again. This time, single. Him and his boyfriend broke up. I have no idea what to expect. Now, since me and the new guy are not dating, just friends, I have every right to spend this weekend "getting to know" the obsession guy. to make matters worse however, I recently went to Toronto to visit, and I brought the new guy, and the obsession guy and the new guy met, and well...the new guy got jealous, and I cant say for sure, but I think so did obsession guy. how do I get myself into these messes? Well, all I know is that I am going to make sure that I do what is right for me. I have spent too much time worrying about everyone else, that I haven’t even had time to realize, that I am driving myself into a psychotic episode. All I want is a boy who will treat me right, be honest and caring, hot and good in bed, and most of all, LOYAL Is that too much to ask?
 
I am 21 now...A great way to start a new year!!