Two birds with one stone

As you may or may not have noticed, each title to my posts always reflect in some way the situation described in the post itself. I try to make it clever, but it gets hard sometimes, particularly when the subject is complicated. Well, it doesnt get much better then this. I am alone. Fred stopped calling me, which was my fault because I neglected to call him for a while, and by the time I got around to it, he was fed up, and gave up on me. Now one would think that this was a good thing, because I had chosen Kelly, but, Kelly stopped calling me as well. So what does this have to do with Two birds? Exactly this: By not calling Fred, I lost him, and I ended up calling Kelly alot, apperently too much since I scared him away and now he's not calling me. It seems I am destructive to all my relationships. It's really too bad too. I really like Kelly, but by being the clingy type that I myself hate in others, I can't persue it. Maybe it's Karma. I wish I could turn a switch off that would make me not so weird. The strange thing is, all my problems started when I decided that I wanted something solid. Up until that point, I was perfectly content to play the field, and if something didnt work out, it wasn't a big deal. Now that I have started investing myself in others, I am getting hurt left right and center. So what should I do? Should I go back to the care-free player I once was, or do I keep trying for something real? Just look at my track record. The first boy I invest myself in, the Toronto boy, Ends up dumping me for reasons unknown. It took me a while, but I got over it. Then I started dating a new guy, and he ends up going crazy and that fizzles. Now he is back with his ex, and I dont talk to him. Then I meet Kelly and Fred, and look what happens there. Temporary bad luck? Or am I just doomed? What I wouldn't give for a chance to talk to Kelly. If nothing else, I would like to be his friend. But to do that, I need to talk to him, and explain to him that I am not crazy, and it was just bad timming, and thats why I was so clingy, why I came on so strong. But I dont know how to get a hold of him. I am afraid to call him, but seeing him at a club is not a good place to talk, so I dont know. Well, I suppose I could always just go over, but that would make me seem really desparate. In the end, I think maybe I will just wait it out. Maybe I will see him around. Maybe one day he will call me. maybe not. We will have to see. All I know is I need to get a grip on myself, and start acting like a normal human being, and stop scaring people away.