The "L" word

I said it. Yes, I actually said it to someone who cant give me a liver without a compatibility test, that is to say, someone not in my family. I said it to a boy who I think I might actually care enough for to have meant it. Now what? Once again, in my own masicistic way I have chosen someone who having a relationship will be a challenge on top of the normal relationship challenges. He lives in Toronto....AGAIN. As the day of my move to Toronto moves closer, it doesnt seem like such a big deal, but then again, its almost a year away. I am finally happy, and secure in my relationship, and I dont know if I can do it. I mean, I want to think I can, but lets be honest here. There are at least 4 area codes between us, so international dating rules apply. But what the hell does that mean? I have to stay faithfull. If I meant it when I said it, then of course I will. But given my lifestyle before I met him, it will be a difficult transition, added to the fact that we will only see each other every few weekends. It is going to be damn near impossible. Which begs the question....Why did I say it now, and not when I do move down. Because now that its out there, there are certain expectations on me. I can handle pressure....From myself, but I dont like being trapped into something. even if it was my own (Stupid) Free will. Thanks for that one God. All I really know is that I want to be with him, and maybe forever, or maybe a few more dates, but whatever it is, I enjoy the time I spend with him. its euphoric. It is everything I imagined couplehood could be, but never had a chance to experiance. No matter what I do, I will always find a way to make things difficult for myself. I hope I can rise to this challenge. I really hope I do.